|
| Fear of the future or regret of the past?
| | |
| It's been forever since I wrote on this thing.....partially because it was blocked in the part of China I was in....anyway, on to the meat of the topic...
I love stories. Drama, danger, action...giant robots.... I love the elements that play into them....foreshadowing, contrasts, symbolism (one of my fave's)...however, in the stories, the most interesting parts of stories, are when any of the story's characters are forced into a situation where they have to make a decision that's a matter of life or death.....they're at a crossroads. (Yes, I know, that's what makes stories stories, right? the decisions in them?) yeah, but not all characters are forced into these situations... that's why I found Professor Snape so interesting... I only read two books but he's one of the characters that balances himself on the boarder of good and evil....eventually he's going to have to make a choice.........right?
So Bruce, what's you're point? Only this...crossroads are much more interesting and entertaining when they're not happening to you.
A few days ago, my supervisor gave me a call the day before I was supposed to come back to the US for good. He said that I needed to stay in China. So I quit. I refuse to be played over and over again by the same company.... I even switched divisions to see if it was any different...they were....but not in the aspect of them wanting to keep me in China for the rest of my life....even if they won't admit it.
So here's where I'm at a crossroads. I have a few options:
1) Another Salary Job: This would make my parents happy...it would make my life less stressful financially...I would think....and it's been pretty status quo....which, my college career (when I was happiest), was anything but...
2) Masters Degree: Going back to school would also be ok for my parents. It would give me time to study the nuances of a company I've been meaning to start. But it'll take a couple years....and it would erase the amount of money that I've saved up.
3) Investments: This is not so much investment in stock but in the potential and abilities of the people I know. If I spelled it out for my parents, they wouldn't be so happy....it's the only one that they wouldn't like....but it's the only one I'd regret if I didn't try.
I'm not a big fan of crossroads when i'm the one making them....(Sigh) Let's see what happens.
Post Script: sorry about all the ellipses..............................................
| | |
| I'm back in the U.S...again...and I find that I don't have all that much to talk about. i guess we can go through this quickly, then.
1) I'm switching divisions in the company that I work for. The previous one lacked direction for me...and a definite time frame of when I'll be back in the US for sure. This one, from what I see, will provide both. I should be back by August.
2) The new division's customer has only been EMC, a storage and server company, for a long time. Recently, the division has been adding more customers to the list...such as LG and Network Application (NetApp). So my location w/in the US may shift. Originally being in Boston, the possibility of me being in SF is not far fetched...
3) I'm thinking of getting a new phone. I know, I know, "But Bruce, you just got a new phone in February." Yes, well, I can't really check my e-mails with my current phone...so I'll kinda need a smart phone eventually. So I had two in mind. The Helio Ocean...which is two way slider...and really light. I just looked at one today. Pretty nifty... The second is the Samsung F700. Even though the F700 is only sold in Europe for now...i still think it's really cool. It has touch screen...much like the i-phone. No, I'm not getting the F700 just because of my disdain for apple products, but also because I feel it's better than the i-phone. The F-700 also has a slide out qwerty key board...so as to not take up all that much room for the screen. pretty neat. Of course, there're a lot of other comparable features b/w the two...but I won't get into that yet.
My Brother, however came up with an interesting point. Why not just have the company get one for me? Good point...but they'll just probably pick out the crappiest smart phone out there..
4) people have been complaining (ok, not complaining, but still) about me getting a girlfriend. Generally from my aunts, uncles, 'rents, etc. Why I don't have a girl friend? I don't know. maybe it has something to do with my physicality? or possibly my charismatic-ness? or lack there of... Or possibly it's because if I get a girl, it may hinder me slightly of the things I really want to do... of course...as I've stated in previous posts... Doing something that I really want to do may not be worth doing without someone to share it with. (shrug) eh, I don't know. We'll see. Whatever the big guy throws my way'll be how it's supposed to be, I suppose.
5) Merry Christmas, All. Hope u have a good time and eat lots. As for J. Wes Norvell... I hope ur gifts are there, both physically and spiritually. I can understand bein in S. America for the holidays kinda suck, but not to worry, mi amigo (sp)... I'll be thinking of you during this time of year...as well as mashed potatoes and In and Out Burger. :P
| | |
| So I'm back in the US for the next couple weeks, enjoying some time off from work. (I'll be back to China afterwards...till december) Things have been relatively uneventful, so there's not much to write about there... so why else do people write on xanga? to vent? I guess in retrospect, I don't have very many complaints in life. Stable income...though it's extremely small...family and friends... but I'm not happy. Not happy with where I am in life, not happy with what I'm doing for a living.
But since I have this down time, it gave me the opportunity to think about what's going on in my life. One question is, if I'm not happy here...should I move on? After a year of work at a major electronics manufacturer, it's a definite option. Of course it's a little bit more complicated than that...but in the end...it's a simple matter of "should I stay or should I go"?
The bigger thing that I've come to question is what should I pursue in life? I mean...I do have dreams and things that I want to accomplish... but for the first time in my post high school life, I'm questioning...should I continue to pursue these dreams?...or should I try and settle down some? friends (lots of them) are getting married and settling down. Life partners that share experiences with them, u know? I dunno. I'm thinking, let's say I accomplish all the things that I want to do...all the dreams I've ever wished for... if I have nobody to share that with, then what's the point? I mean, to be able to say that I've done things that many people have not... to be able to say that I've helped this many ppl in the world is really neat and all... but even though I feel I'll have genuine respect in those situations, will I have genuine love? I guess I'm kinda greedy if u think about it...
I think I need to eat. lol. Gotta get me some o' dem dopamine(sp) : P Not that I'm inviting in an eating disorder or anything... but I'm having trouble falling asleep...stupid jet lag. hope u guys are doin alright.
| | |
|
|
